The New Chapter

Good Morning. Monday morning and the official first day of SPRING. Oh, how I long for dry ice free sidewalks and streets. A reminder of life.

Today is also the birthday of Alvin’s Best Friend Teddy. He reminds me of Alvin. They were truly best friends and on our last walk, Alvin wanted to go to see his friend. Wishing our Teddy a very Happy 10th Birthday.

Teddy, Alvin’s Best Friend

BFs together

BF Teddy

BF Teddy

The boys

Alvin & his BF Teddy

Yesterday I wrote this poem about saying goodbye. This post is reflective of how I am feeling both joy and overwhelming sadness.

Saying Goodbye!

No one knows what is coming

There is no way to prepare for that moment

We all know in our hearts that life does not last forever

But we are never prepared !

When that day comes

The blueness and emptiness we feel in our hearts

Weighs down our spirit

The loss is unbearable

The guilt weighs heavily on us.

Nothing will ever be the same again,

More change, how much can a heart take!

The pieces smashing down upon the floor.

Breaking everywhere.

Photos and videos remind us of what was

What will never be again

Life goes on, it must.

We cry at night and weep behind closed doors.

But the memories bring us up

Hard as it is,

Tears will fall, they will dry.

But the memories will remain.

Stories of who they were,

The start and the end and every moment in between.

How they touched our hearts

How they brought so much to our life

How we will remember.

How they reached our soul, in epic proportion.

How they brought so much joy.

The laughter and the tears.

How each memory will be carried in our hearts and minds forever,

For an eternity ……. they will live on ……..

Written by CYLewis on Sunday, March 19, 2023.

My heart is broken with the loss of my beloved Alvin.

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Remember to tell your village, your family, your friends that you love them, that you care and always do whatever you can to be present in their lives. We never know when things will change.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (My Forever Angel)

The Next Chapter

Good Morning. The sun is coming up and the sky appears to be a mix of grey and blue? But it is light outside and there appears to be no wind. Welcome to Sunday morning. Yesterday was a busy day. My daughter came for a visit in between an appointment and going to her friend’s for a sleepover (belated birthday celebration) AND I was invited to my friend Gillian’s for a fondue party. I was up early yesterday and did laundry and started to write thank you cards. I received so many bouquets of flowers, flowering plants, a wooden rainbow bridge, chocolates, a frame with a paw charm, the most special framed collage filled with flowers and a picture of Alvin crafted by my daughter and many cards. The outpouring of love and support has been overwhelming. I am so grateful. So I am in the process of acknowledging these thoughtful gestures of love. There truly are no words, I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful, kind and thoughtful people. This neighbourhood filled with friends, my family and friends from near and far have been so kind to me. I so appreciate the love. I had a great visit with my daughter over coffee and a snack. She stopped and picked up more thank you cards and a few groceries for her Momma, my daughter is so good to me. After she left I finished up the laundry and then left for my friend Gillian’s house which is less than a five minute walk away. We had a great time. Visiting and eating. I had not done a fondue in many decades. It was fun. The food was great. So many choices. I was invited for 4:00 p.m. and came home just after 8:00 p.m. The rest of the evening was spent watching a couple of shows that I had recorded and then it was bed.

Today I have to get down to moving photos to the hard drive from the old computer. I want to spend as much time today doing this as possible. I need to do my taxes from they can wait until next weekend as I am not prepared to start them today although I did do a bit of prep work yesterday (looking for info).

With the weather being so nice, will need to keep an eye on the storm drain out front. My neighbour Steven made a wider trough to the drain so that is helping but at this time of year as the snow melts it freezes and thaws and back and forth. So there is almost always ice on the sidewalk in the evening, overnight and early morning. It will be nice when the temperature stays above freezing. The ice and snow on the street and along the sidewalks is beginning to melt. Yesterday a big truck with a scraper was out, made one scrape on the street directly north of us and then drove around the block. Did not appear to scrape our street out front. Of course, many of the neighbours were parked on the street. I do not recall seeing a sign about them coming. Communication lacking for sure. Now it will remain a mess until the temperature warms and it melts. Oh well, nothing new.

Well I had better get to it. I want to do one more load of laundry. Forgot to wash the sheets on the guest bedroom bed and I have a few items of clothing to wash, so I guess two loads. Time to get dressed, make coffee and then start working on the photos. Fingers crossed that I can get this done today. Would be awesome. Perhaps I will be able to get a walk in as well.

Oh, how I miss Alvin and cannot believe it was four weeks yesterday. Missing you my buddy.

Have a wonderful day. Remember to take some time in amongst all of the business of life for yourself. There is so much for us all to deal with on a daily basis that some alone time to recharge and just be is so important. Walking in nature is a good thing.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel)

Me and my Alvin 2018

Me and Alvin Oct 2013

Me and Alvin early days

Not impressed by the kiss Fall 2010

Soon there will be flowers

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! The sun is rising and it is Saturday. I am so happy that it is the weekend and that we survived another week. I think that for most of us that is a huge deal. I am grateful for the weekend and that I am able to be at home, in my safe and happy place. Surrounded by the warmth of souls that have come and gone and by memories. Oh, the memories do truly help keep you warm at night and give you the energy to get going in the morning. Happy Saturday.

Last night our friends Iris and pups Teddy and Kobi came for a visit. At first the pups just ran up the steps and into the house with every bit of energy in them and back and forth once inside from back door to front door. Then they stopped and started to sniff about and we both knew they were wondering where their old friend Alvin had gone. Teddy and Alvin have been best friends for many years. They used to have sleepovers and Teddy was here for special occasions and just for visits with no reason other than to see his buddy. Iris could not even mention Alvin’s name before they got into the car because he would get so excited. Iris is energy sensitive and reminded me that she could feel Alvin all around and where else would he be but in his house with me. She always makes me feel good and she gave me wonderful comforting words of encouragement and support and love. They are family to us. In between the tears we even managed to have some laughter. Where are the tears without laughter. Both are so important to us all. I love watching Teddy and Kobi as they ran about. They went outside at one point shortly after arriving and were sniffing around as I am sure they could smell their friend. Kobi loves to watch the neighbourhood out of our front window and she stood on her hind legs and took in our world. Teddy played with a toy of Alvin’s. Joy returned to my house for a few minutes. I am so grateful that they were in the city and stopped by. Iris and the pups had walked over as she did not have her car in the city only her husband’s truck. I decided that it would be nice to walk them home. So we chatted and walked. I ended up staying at their house chatting until almost 10:00 p.m. and then quickly walked home. Home safe and sound. Our neighbourhood is good but you never know. Even coyotes could be out. We looked at pictures from their farm. They have two new cats and I saw videos of the pups and the new cats. The new cats were used to dogs so it was cute to see them interacting. I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. I cannot wait until the next time. Thank you Iris, Teddy and Kobi for the visit. We missed you guys.

Today is laundry day and some cleaning. Then back to moving photos from the old computer to the hard drive. Too bad there was not a more efficient, more faster way of doing this but alas there appears not to be. Just a footnote to everyone out there – make sure that you store your photos and edit them. Through out the bad shots, the duplicates etc. Always.

Amanda is stopping by in the early afternoon after a dental appointment and before she goes to spend some time with her bestie. Both my “kids” were/are so blessed to have good people in their lives. Alvin had a village, he had our neighbourhood. Iris reminded me that it was Alvin who brought us all together. It truly was. He was the best guy ever and my longest male relationship. I am forever grateful for the relationships that he helped me make and keep for well over a decade. Oh, how I miss him. I am excited to see my girl. Always good to see her. She is the best.

Have an awesome Saturday. Take some time to be with family and friends and for yourself. Remember better to live in the moment today than to get hung up on the future or the days ahead. For there is only today as we are not promised tomorrow. Enjoy this day!

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel).

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! How are you this morning? I had a fair sleep last night. So excited that today is Friday. Wishing a dear friend Terry, Happy Birthday on this March 17th, 2023. Also HAPPY ST. PATRICK’s DAY. Part of my ancestors is Irish, so I feel akin to this day. Did you know that St. Patrick was the patron saint of Ireland, of course you did. Did you know that he was kidnapped and enslaved but eventually escaped. He returned to the Emerald Island where he furthered “Christianity” and it is believe that he died on March 17th. The reason why we celebrate him on this day. I just like the idea of celebrating the Irish (we should celebrate everyone). I wear green because it makes me feel alive and happy. Kelly Green is my shade of green. Happy St. Patrick’s Day for any reason, we should celebrate something everyday whether it is for being able to get out of bed in the morning or because spring is close by, Whatever you are grateful for – celebrate.

I am grateful for walks after work. Last night I ran into Allie and Bailey. Bailey saw me from a distance and literally dragged Allie to me. We had a great visit and walk together. We also bumped into Janet with Eddie and Bruno. Wonderful having friends.

I am celebrating my Alvin who remains close to my heart (forever) and always in my thoughts. I know this sounds off but I carry his urn around the house with me. If I go to bed, he comes upstairs with me and when I go back down, I take him down. So he is with me. I miss him, I will always miss him. Last night I received a text from his best friend Teddy’s Mom saying that they are in the city and would like to visit. I am happy to see them but sad. I know that seeing Teddy and his little sister Kobi would have been amazing. He will be with us in spirit and I am sure that they will feel him with us.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day (Green is my favourite colour and well Alvin, my beautiful Angel).

Have a wonderful day.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel).

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! How are you this morning? I am okay. Had a much better sleep last night. I have been going for walks after work and I am finding that this enables me to clear the “crap” from my brain and then settle down for the evening. Did you ever see that when you slow down and concentrate on one task or one thought at a time, that you feel more positive and just feel more relaxed? I have noticed that with me. Yesterday when I was feeling better and then last night after work. Just refocused to one thing at a time.

Starting to feel like spring during the day as the sun rises higher in the daytime sky. Yesterday there was a lot of water that had melted so it begins to get sloppy. I noticed when I was outside that the storm drain is plugged again. People driving over it pushing the snow onto the grates and eventually plugging it. So tonight if it is melting and the ice has softened I will chip away and try to open it up so that the water does not pool on the street. Our streets are always a pain. Either icy or full of massive ruts. Most of the time in the winter it is massive ruts. When the street was “plowed” a few weeks ago, they basically went down the middle of the street so the middle is clear but they pushed the snow up. Anyway, it is always fun when you are driving. Of course, cars line both sides of the street so down to one lane driving. I am grateful that spring is close.

I am going to try something different today and have breakfast before I leave home. Finding eating at the new office is a pain. Everyone is so busy – no one takes a coffee break. Lunch, I usually don’t eat anyway so unless I go for a walk, it is hard to actually take a break. So have to work out some things. Anyway, I will see what my body likes. I used to always eat in the morning and then eat at supper and sometimes have a snack at noon. I like breakfast and supper, not so much lunch. But have to have something during the day (including morning) otherwise I get a headache. Experiment, I guess.

I hope that life is treating you kindly. May your day be filled with possibilities of all good things and that your dreams are coming true.

Have a wonderful day.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel)

The Next Chapter

Good Morning. How are you this morning? I am okay. I tossed and turned a lot, thinking of a certain someone. Oh, how I miss my Alvin. Seems like it has been forever since he snuggled beside me on the sofa and in bed and that we walked together. Whenever I walk now it feels like something is missing. Someone is missing. I miss you Buddy.

I am feeling better this morning compared to yesterday morning. Off to work I go today.

The time change always seems to wreak havoc with my sleep patterns and those of so many. I remember it taking Alvin a good couple of weeks to get back in our routine after the time changed. So in time, (lol), I will be back to normal, whatever the heck that may be. At this point, my life is anything but normal. Everything seems to be changing or at least it feels like it. I guess with Alvin passing and the changes at work, that is enough to throw even the most positive feeling person into a tailspin. Spinning is where I am at …… just hope that it stops soon. I am trying.

My daughter launched a book (journal type for writing) on Amazon which is pretty cool. Her artwork as always is beautiful. She is so talented. Wishing her all the best in this endeavour.

Well this is going to be short. I had some technical difficulties. You see with this new computer not only are the mouse and keyboard wireless they are battery “less” as well. You have to charge them. I found that out the hard way.

Have a good day.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is my word for the day. It is likely one of the hardest things to do. Especially when it is to yourself.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel).

The Next Chapter

Hello, it is afternoon now. Woke up this morning with a bad headache so I took a sick day. Slept most of the morning so now the headache is gone. I have a sore throat and puffy eyes (strange). But inside feeling much better. So on this bright and sunny afternoon, I am going to post some of my favourite photos.

My Alvin

Aspen & MiMi

Alvin & Elton

Alvin & Kobi

Beautiful Ducks

Flowers to plant

Teddy & Kobi

Alvin & Kobi

Bogart on top of fence

Flowers

Alvin at Laser Therapy

Flowers

Bogart

Alvin & Penny

Christmas Project 2020

More Flowers

Cuteness

A proper Gentleman

Kobi and Milo

Alvin & his BF Teddy

Loving Broccoli

Humphrey

Me and my Alvin

Elton

Milo & Elton

Card from Val

My Grand-puppies Penny and Elton

Temporary bedroom

Top of stairs, body?

Alvin and Penny …..

Elton and Penny, the grand-puppies.

Me and Alvin

I hope that you are well and have a great rest of your Tuesday.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel).

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! I hope that this finds you well. I had forgotten that we changed the clocks yesterday as I wondered why I was feeling tired this morning. Also a bit anxious as this is the first full week at the new office. My life has taken a 360 degree turn over the past three weeks. Deep breath! I got this.

Darkness outside. But will lighten soon. Just as I said that a light came on outside (as I look out of my office window). Now it is off.

Did you watch the OSCAR’s, the 95th Annual Academy Awards? Michelle Yeoh and Jamie Lee Curtis won and I was happy for them. Great to see Brendon Fraser win an award. “Everything Everywhere All At Once. That is quite the name. I had to look it up so that I had it correct. Congratulations to all the winners and the nominees.

I had a busy day with laundry and moving photos to the hard drive. Disappointed that I am not able to send an email with some photos to my daughter. Will have to figure that out. Technology is a wonderful thing until it is not. Great seeing some photos that I have not seen in a long time.

I am going to make some coffee to take to work. We have a Keurig but I prefer perked coffee when I have time to make it. Cutting this post a bit short so please forgive me.

Happy Monday!

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel)

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! The sun is shining and it is snowing. What a sight. The time changed today and the best news for today is that it is my darling daughter’s BIRTHDAY. We celebrated yesterday and had such a great time. First of all, I had Miss Aspen, Milo (Mi-Mi) and Miss Betty Ann here for a few hours while the kids went to see some friends in from out of town. The pups were in perfect behaviour. No grrr action between Milo and Betty Ann. We had a nice few hours just hanging out and snuggling. So great to have them here. Still hard to believe that it has been three weeks since my buddy Alvin left us. He is with me everyday and everywhere I go. I hold him in my heart and mind. Happy Birthday Amanda. Despite the time change, it is looking to be a great day.

We had “chicken fingers which are really homemade deep fried chicken nuggets” with homemade honey mustard dip, potato salad, peas and corn. Steven likes corn and we girls like the peas. I seldom eat deep fried anything but once or twice a year, I make this meal usually for the kids birthdays. For dessert I made a fruit pizza which in the pan transferring to the fridge felt like it weighed ten pounds. Not really but was heavy. Needless to say the kids took lots of leftovers home and I have leftovers for a few days. I love leftovers. We definitely missed Alvin at the party. Seemed strange to have three pups all of similar colour and no black & white one. No Alvin. He loved a good party and especially if there was something for him to open.

Well I have a busy Sunday planned. More laundry to do. I need to work on transferring more photos from the old computer to the external hard drive. NEED COFFEE now. I have to go through the box that I brought from work and see what needs to go to the new office. Minimal room. Vacuum upstairs and stairs. Some other photo work to do as well. Lots to do.

Photo by George Dolgikh on Pexels.com

Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Pexels.com

Photo by Silvia Trigo on Pexels.com

Happy Birthday Amanda, I hope that you have a wonderful day.

Have a wonderful day. Oh, the 95th OSCARS are on tonight. I think I may try and watch some of the awards. Would nice to see Michelle and Jamie Lee win.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel)

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! Another overcast morning. I cannot believe that my Alvin has been gone for three weeks. I think that I shall always miss him. He is everywhere in the house. Last night I washed some of his harnesses that I found in the closet. Some no longer would fit him. They are washed and clean and perhaps someday will find another home. Every day I go through the bouquets of flowers and plants that we received and make sure they have fresh water and remove the ones that have passed. Surprisingly, there are some cut flowers that are still doing well. I am so grateful to all those friends and neighbours for the most beautiful flowers. Alvin would have loved them. He really did love flowers and always had his nose in the flower pots in the spring and summer. He was always watching me while I watered the plants in the house and sometimes wanted me to bring them down so that he could see them. Yes, he did. Very curious he was.

Last night I started the preparations for his sister’s Birthday party. She turns 43 tomorrow and Alvin was 13 in January. Lots of the number 3 and 4 combinations, if you are into numerology. Just thought that looked cool. I will keep the decorations for her party a bit on the low key side because we are mourning our beloved Alvin and I just do not feel that it would be right. The house will be full of celebration for a birthday and also celebration of a life well lived. I know that we will be talking about him tonight. He loved a good party especially when there were gifts for him to open, even if they were not for him. To Alvin it was all about opening the gift. Now if there was food inside, he was wanting the food for sure but at the end of the day, he loved to open gifts. At Christmas, he seemed to have started Miss Aspen to be interested in opening a gift, so perhaps he has passed his talents to her. That would be nice. I guess we shall see over time.

This morning, I have a list of things to do. Last night I boiled the eggs and potatoes so I will cut them up for the salad. I may have to put the chicken in cold water for awhile as last night it was still frozen solid. I guess my freezer works good. Shovelling is on the list. Also making the fruit pizza which has a few steps so that takes a bit of time. I put up some Happy Birthday Balloons (I know, they are helium ones that I keep reusing each year and two are from my 65th Birthday but they do not say a year). Not sure my daughter would appreciate a birthday balloon that said Happy 65th Birthday, lol. I may have the chicken cut up and ready to go. I just received a text from daughter that she sent last night and they have a slight change in their plans and won’t be here until around 2:30 so that gives me a bit more time to get things done. I washed my clothes last night so that is off the plate for today. Towels and bedding can wait until tomorrow. I have lots of towels so I could easily do them once every two weeks. There is shovelling on the list. Did I mention that already? If I have time I will vacuum upstairs otherwise that is for tomorrow. I am excited to see Miss Aspen, Mi-Mi and Miss Betty Ann this afternoon for a few hours before Amanda & Steven come for the party.

So the office. Yesterday I left the house at 7:05 and walked to the bus stop to catch public transportation for the first time since pre pandemic. Yes, I was a little bit anxious but just making sure that I had the right one and good thing that I asked because one of the two that I was supposed to be able to catch would have meant a further walk for me so glad that I asked the driver. The bus was on time and I waited for a few minutes because I left early to ensure that I did not miss the bus. The bus ride was less than 5 minutes (for real) and then I walked to the new office. The walk took just under 10 minutes. When I got to the office, I realized that the front door had a FOB entry and not key and it was cold and snowing and I was cold from being outside waiting and walking. I walked around the building as it is small and did not see the other entrance due in part to my glasses being fogged over so I pulled out my cell phone and texted the gal that I carpool with as she was going to the office for further training. I think I mentioned that we will end up working together after all as she will be in a different position. Anyway, she texted our Manager and then I remembered that I had our Director’s phone number so I texted her, she texted me and then called me. She said that the other entrance had a key entry and did I have a key. I said yes to the key but did not see the other door and I did know there was one but just in the moment did not see it. She stayed on the line while I walked and located the door and let myself into a dark building as I was the first one to arrive. Yes, I am always early. Habit of mine. I thanked her and then started to remove my coat etc and settle in. I picked one of the desks, the one closest to the door, lol. Then I set about setting up the Keurig coffee machine so that I could have coffee. It was awhile later after I was enjoying some coffee that another staff arrived followed by the Manager and later another staff. The Manager for our Systems arrived to get us set up and the movers with filing cabinets etc. I even managed to get some work done. The best part of all was that I got home at 4:31 p.m. I made sure that I was out the door at 4:00 as I wanted to see what time the bus arrived. I ended up waiting for a few minutes so now I know that I don’t have to rush rush out the door, just in case. Another new chapter ……. the office is not and sparkly like the downtown one but it does possess a kind of 80’s charm.

Time for me to head downstairs and put on some coffee. It is 7:53 now and I was up just after 7:00 and awake much earlier but chose to lay in bed and just mull over life with constant thoughts of Alvin. Doesn’t seem fair to him or to me that he had to leave what seems like way too soon.

Have a wonderful Saturday.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel)