Morning All, it is so quiet here in my house without my beloved Alvin. I cannot believe that he is gone forever. I heard noises that I never heard before ….. were they there all along? He was my companion, my friend and my boy. I will always miss him and his cuteness. That wag of his little short tail when I called him “cuteness.” There is a canyon deep and wide within my heart that will be there for the rest of my days. I cannot and will not forget that little guy who gave me so much, and I feel as though I let him down. I am reminded by so many that he had a great life. But in the darkness of our, my bedroom late at night, I cannot see that. Yesterday I spent several hours looking at photos and videos which did help me to see him happy and playing with his friends and with me. He was my world for 13 years and one month less one day. I could never have imagined that when we went to meet him on that cold winter’s night that he would literally rock my world from the beginning to the end. How could my life be any better than it was with him? It will be different but never better. I will miss our walks together watching him sniff every blade of grass. I shall miss seeing him play and interact with his friends and family. I will miss his excitement when a parcel arrived from our friend Val. When the summer comes and the lawns are green, I will miss seeing him roll around in delight at our friends homes. I will miss seeing him open his Christmas present as though he were a boy. I miss seeing him grabbing one of his many toys and pushing it around the floor and then tossing it into the air before I caught on that he wanted to play and then we would play tug for awhile. I miss the warmth of his body next to mine when we went to bed. I miss watching the cuteness of his little bum when he walked ahead of me. He did have the cutest bum. I miss hearing him bark when he wanted his breakfast and supper and treats. I miss having him sitting beside me on the sofa watching me eat my supper with a clear want in his eyes – even though he had just had his supper and a treat before I ate mine. I miss everything about him. Those big brown eyes. His lighter brown eyebrows which had started to disappear as he got older. I miss our talks. I miss his shoulder to cry on. He was the best listener. I just miss the essence that was Alvin……..
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I need to share the words that my daughter wrote yesterday after I posted the tribute to our dear boy.
What a beautiful tribute to our special boy. We’re so lucky to have known him so well and to have witnessed your amazing relationship with him and the joy he brought to so many. It’s not fair that they have such short lives but they pack a whole lot of unconditional love and teach us so much in that short time.
We will miss our quirky, loving lil bro every day. The way he knew what he wanted and demanded that in his special voice. The way he loved you and his friends unconditionally. His handsome face and cute little tail wag. How he would pull out every toy until he found then one he wanted in that moment. The noises he made when he was annoyed. His talents for opening gifts. Just every little thing about him.
He will leave a giant hole and will forever be missed.
Rest in peace my brother
Alvin & his sister Amanda. Second photo Alvin exploring the beach near his sister’s home. Alvin just chilling with me.
On this cold February morning, I will try to continue in this life to be kind, respectful, compassionate, patient, loving, to laugh, understanding, filled with gratitude, remember there are possibilities, to focus and to be present, and have a cup of coffee.
Always, Carol & Alvin, my Angel is resting on the hallway floor outside the door where he always waited for me to finish writing. His blue blanket from his foster family that was with us throughout his whole life from that first night till he left us now covers me at night. Love you buddy……..
My New Life @ 51 