A New YEAR 2023

Good Morning ALL! Another kind of cold morning out there. It has been snowing off and on throughout the night and early morning hours. We did not have a great night. Bed at 9:15 p.m. and then just as I laid down and turned off the lights, Mr. Alvin began to pant, on with the lights and back downstairs as I realized that he had to poop. Outside, after more than one day with no blood in his poop and poop starting to look like good poop, we were back to blood and not good poop. How many times can I put poop in one sentence. Lots. Let me tell you. After he was done, as it was not even 10:00 p.m., I carried the boy back upstairs to bed. We are starting to spend more time on the sofa than in our bed. After that we were back downstairs in less than two hours, I wrote down the time (which is downstairs on the kitchen cupboard) every single time we got up which was four times not including the time we got up just after 5:30, and I gave him breakfast and back outside. Back in the house, I set the alarm for 7:00 which gave me another hour of sleep. Did not really feel like it. I am exhausted. So hard to concentrate or even straight when you have not had much sleep. I did call the Vet yesterday and spoke to the Vet Assistant. I had told her because at the time, he was doing so much better. No blood and his poop was beginning to look like poop should. Instructions were to continue to give him the Prednisdone for two weeks after no blood/poop and then every other day for a week until the pills are gone. Now she also said that perhaps he will need to be on them for the rest of his life. ARGH. It seems like it has been forever since he was on this medication but has it been one week or two? Good thing that I write things down. I will have to call back and see what to do. I am worried about leaving Alvin when I got to the office this week which is starting tomorrow. Too long days for him and I am sure that having to hold it in does not help matters. Oh, how it would be great to have him back in good pooping order and me being able to work from home all of the time. I guess I need to get going on things but it is so difficult when you are not getting proper sleep. I know. Procrastinating. Maybe but I am scared to be honest. Our future is uncertain. I know all of the things that I need and should be doing but I cannot get my head wrapped around any of it. The days are counting off and I am running out of time. So I need to be doing more but I feel stuck and tired. Okay this is not the positive outlook that I need to be having but it is how I feel after yet another night of literally no sleep.

Time to head downstairs and put on some coffee. I am surprised that Alvin has not started to bark yet. Perhaps he is tired as well.

Fingers crossed that he gets better soon. I feel so badly for him. He must be in pain from all of this. I will need to buy another package or three of chicken tomorrow when I go to the office. Thank goodness there is a SaveOn nearby the office. There is one close to my home as well.

I hope that you have a good day.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities and coffee.

I am grateful for my life, Alvin and my home. Just a few things that I would like to change.

Always, Carol & Alvin

A New YEAR 2023

Good Morning ALL! Happy Chinese New Year’s Eve to all my friends who celebrate this day. How exciting. The sky is clear with some happy clouds as the sun begins to rise in the morning sky. Thank goodness today is Saturday.

I am sorry that I did not get a post done yesterday but I was feeling under the weather and took a sick day. Partway through the afternoon, I felt very good, with a calm and with energy so I started some laundry, vacuumed and washed the main floor. Not long later, Alvin had to go outside and, I noticed that he once again had blood in his poop. This is the third time stopped and started over the past few weeks. My heart crashed to my the ground and those feelings of goodness and calm melted away. So I made a quick phone call to his Doctor for advice knowing that he will need likely “poop tests” and perhaps even blood tests. She suggested the first so we have an appointment for Monday morning. Another perfect way to begin the work week. Some of you may know that last Monday my employer made an announcement that shattered my plane of existence, literally. So there is a lot going on in my life and most of it crappy, very crappy. I will and am having to make some very major life decisions which is never fun. Tonight I had been planning to go to my friend Lucy’s house for supper/dinner celebrating Chinese’s New Year’s Eve but honestly now after Alvin’s change once again, the wind that was remaining in my sails that left and I feel very deflated. I know that he would be okay with Maddie for a few hours but I just cannot leave him so I have to confirm that I will not be attending which means that Maddie will not be required to come over to stay with Alvin. I know it meant some extra money for her and she will be disappointed. I should likely just give her the money. I wished that I could stay wrapped up in the cocoon of this weekend and that our life would be perfect but alas it is not realistic to dig one’s head in the sand. I know in my head what I need to know but honestly I have no energy to what I need to do. I have no idea what will happen on Monday and I am scheduled to go to the office Wednesday through Friday. The gal that was helping with Alvin the most is now working a lot. Oh in addition to the big announcement we are back to work five days per week starting March 13, 2023. So big question, what happens with Alvin. What? I have no answers.

I am going to have a shower and perhaps the warm water will wash away some of my despair and energize me again. I have been up and down all week. Just when I think that I have made a decision, another thought or comment comes rolling in and I am at a loss again.

Alvin was alone on his birthday, this 14th except for the neighbour that stopped in to check on him. I was not home until almost 5:00 p.m. and we had a little “party” between the two of us. A quiet night.

I must note on the upside that I did not see blood in his poop last night or this morning. But it is back to being very loose once again. I know not the news you may want to be reading.

When we were outside earlier the air was so warm and we both could have stayed out there forever. I would like to take him for a walk but will have to see what the poop situation is …..

My new eyeglasses are causing me some discomfort so I will need to run over to the Optomotrist as luckily they are open from now until 4:00 p.m. It will be a quick walk and Alvin should be okay while I am away.

Time to hit the shower. The bedding has been changed.

I hope that you have an awesome Saturday. I do know that things will work out for us, they usually do but like anything it usually takes time.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities and coffee.

Always, Carol & Alvin

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