The Next Chapter

Good Morning! The night sky is dissipating but appears to have “rain clouds” so perhaps the forecast for today will be correct. Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous. I spent 2 hours and 40 minutes cleaning up my neighbourhood filling two large black garbage bags (the ones that expand). They were heavy carrying around as I did not have a half way point to drop one off. I also found on the walkway to 62nd Avenue a “dead Christmas Tree.” I thought something was off when I was picking up the trash, so I dragged it over closer to the street with hopes that maybe the garbage collectors will see it and someone will pick it up. Likely not. I guess I could report it to our City Info Line. Perhaps that is what I will do on my lunch break. We pass by the spot on our way to work this morning. Hopefully kids did not move it. I wonder if the people living on the other side of the fence, threw over their tree? Perhaps that is too obvious. I wore short sleeves (which was good as it was warm) and my “Capital City CleanUp vest” and most people I passed did not want to make eye contact but one person shortly after I left home, actually engaged me and said “thank you.” He was walking his dog and mentioned that he was going to be cleaning up downtown this Friday (from work). So that was great to hear. I was happy to get back home. The bags were heavy and my back was and is still sore from lifting them. I have been cleaning up this neighbourhood since I moved her back at the end of March 2009.

I actually fulfilled my TO DO LIST from yesterday by finishing the laundry and doing the garbage pickup and washing the main floor. A good productive weekend.

As I had really enjoyed watching the TOP GUN “Maverick” movie, I rewatched it another time and I also rented the original one as I wanted to check out a few things. Kind of disappointed that a movie from 1986 is being charged at $5.00 compared to the $7.00 for the new releases. Very poor Telus. They could still make money at $1.00 or $2.00. It was not because it was the original as most of the other movies that were listed were charged at $5.00. I don’t rent movies too often but I guess still is cheaper than going to the theatre and the old ones there is no other way to watch them. So yes, I spent $19.00 on movie rentals this weekend. My entertainment budget.

Last night after supper one of my friends and her daughter came over to choose some books from the over 100 titles that I am giving away. They chose three bags full. This will reduce the amount that I have to take to the Library or somewhere to dispose.

Have an awesome day. Cookie comes this Thursday to stay with me.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Oh, I was thinking of Mr. Alvin yesterday during my time outside. He used to “patiently” wait for me to return and then we would go for a walk OR sometimes I would go for a walk with him first. He would have loved the beautiful day whether walking or sitting out on our deck.

Always, Carol & Alvin (My Forever Angel)

The New YEAR 2022

Good Morning ALL! How are you this morning? I am great. Alvin is whining because he has anxiety crossing from the hallway across the laminate floor to his bed in my office. Poor guy. Now he wants me to hold him while he has a drink of water. He is getting some pretty odd behaviors in his old age. I am certain that he can see so that is not the problem. Just has a problem with different textures. He is so darn cute even when he is not happy. Hard to be mad at him.

Well this morning it is snowing. More snow. I was speaking to my sister from Saskatchewan last night and they have so much snow and unbelievably COLD temperatures. We just go from being bitterly cold to warm and snow and then rain. She did say that it warmed up overnight one time and then it rained. Freezing rain. Froze the doors on her car, shut. Oh my goodness Mother Nature has a dark sense of humour to bring us rain in the middle of our coldest temperatures of the year. Why oh why? I guess I cannot really blame her as look what we are doing to the environment. All of this strange/odd/weird weather is more than likely a result of what is happening to the environment. We have to do better and sooner than later.

Another thing I wanted to mention was learning to say “No.” I have a problem with that. Over the years I have become a bit better at using the “No” word but clearly not as much as I should says my dear sister. I love her. Her sense of humour is over the charts. Back to the No. I do have a problem with saying No. I guess I have always been a people pleaser and it makes me feel like people won’t like me if I say no. But I made a personal promise to her to “just say no.” I am practising. Mostly it is to do with having parties or selling something and sometimes when they come to the door with fundraisers. When you have a senior dog as a companion, it can be expensive. So I will be watching more closely. I do pay my bills on time but the saying no directly affects my after bills budget. So that is where I have to be more careful. Whether it is saying no to yourself or to someone else. Always make sure you look after yourself first before saying yes to someone else. Just like the flight attendant who says if the oxygen masks comes down – put yours on first before helping others. Makes sense right. I am not saying to say no all of the time but we have to be more aware of when we do. It is okay to say no. It really is.

Well on that note. It is time to getting prepared for work. Slide over to the next desk and get signed into everything. Oh, Alvin is looking at his water dish once again. Better go.

Have a wonderful day. Be safe and careful.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus and possibilities.

Always, Carol & Alvin

P.S. You do not have to feel guilty for saying no. That is what I am struggling with and will learn to get through it.

2021

Good Morning ALL! How are you this Monday morning? Hard to believe the weekend is over already. Where does the time go? Alvin is patiently waiting in the hallway for me. He is laying on his tummy. I finished the Christmas cards and letters to be mailed yesterday. So once the photos arrive and are placed in with the cards and are sealed – they will be ready to be mailed. The mail to date is for December 2, 2021. I think that I read somewhere that our postage is increasing in the new year. Isn’t everything? It is pretty scary to think that there may be some shelves at the grocery store empty over the next days, weeks and months ahead. Items that are stuck in transit or just are beyond the reach of the grocers. I see very likely that our diets will change accordingly. With the recent events (flooding) in the Fraser Valley – the farm area – it will definity affect all of us. The farmers will be reeling from the loss and it will then turn to the consumer. Then there are the storage containers stuck in port in both Canada and the U.S. We may be reaching the end of the Pandemic or are we? I have not looked at the number lately but I have hope that people will get vaccinated and slow down the variants. Who would have thought that all this would happen? It sounds like a movie. I just take one day at a time. Keeping all those affected one way or the other in my thoughts and heart. It is surely getting crowded in there but you know I am feeling a lot of gratitude for my life. I have a nice home, Alvin and I are in good health, I am employed and able to work from home, I am able to plan my meals around what is accessible, I have clean drinking water, I have heat in my home, I am surrounded by good neighbours, I have a wonderful family and so much more. So everyday I am grateful. It is gratitude for my life and all those in it that get me through each and every day. No matter what has happened or will happen, I am grateful. Grateful that the sun rises each and every morning. Grateful that when Alvin wakes up – I can get up with him. Grateful that I wake up each and every morning. Grateful when I sit up and swing my legs over to the floor that my legs and feet will carry me whenever I need to go. There may be some moments when I am scared or nervous or stressed but I try very hard to keep those moments to just moments. Changing your thoughts to those of gratitude can certainly make a huge difference in one’s life. Life is seldom 100% silk and satin. There is always roughness along the way. The way we think and feel determines the difference between silk & satin and roughness. Feeling grateful for all that we have smooths away the roughness leaving the softness of silk and satin. I hope that you have more silk & satin in your life than roughness. Remember the mindset …… GRATITUDE. Truly it makes all of the difference.

Well time to go and put on the coffee pot. Work in a little bit. Still dark outside. Sunrise in a bit. Have the strength to have the gratitude for your life.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, understanding, love, laughter and gratitude.

Always, Carol & Alvin

P.S. I baked some yummy cookies as I needed some sweet treats. Chocolate chip with some Halloween treats – smarties, cut up twix bars, and M&M’s. So yummy. That is what I did yesterday afternoon after our walk.

2021

Good Morning ALL! How are you this morning? I had a slightly difficult time wanting to stay up this morning. Their were plans to be up earlier but ended up just before 8:00 a.m. Are there folks out there who are like me, who would love to be an early morning person but someone cannot bring themselves to get up at let’s say 6:00 a.m.? I manage to get up for work although now that I am at home, I push that time to the latest that I can and still able to fit in our morning routine. I have tried staying up later so that Alvin will sleep past 2:30 a.m. and most times he has been waking up at 4:00 or a bit earlier. Not quite sure what to do. I know that consistency is the key and I guess we have to find out groove, our place. I believe that part of “our problem” is that he will nap in the evening while I am watching television or whatever it is that I am doing unless I am outside working on something and then he is right at my side. I guess I have to spend less time on the sofa and more time doing things. Likely I do spend too much time on the sofa semi watching television and the rest of the time checking things on my smartphone. Here I am falling into the groove that I did not wish to when I first got the phone. On the bright side or upside, it is almost summer. There are many things to do outside so if we are busy and are in bed at/by 10:00 and then could sleep until 6:00 a.m., that would be perfection. 8 hours sleep or close. In a row would be ideal. Not sure how that would work with both Alvin and I be “older” and sometimes a full “bladder” wakes you up. Oh well. Life in the fast lane.

Yesterday I took a vacation day. What a great day I had. We were up fairly early and had a quiet morning. My daughter had a bit of a late start but she was here by noon and that was great. She brought the pressure washer so that I can clean the deck (hopefully) this weekend. Then we were on our way. I brought along a to go mug of freshly brewed coffee for her and I brought water as I had already drank way too much coffee. Always have to think of the bathroom thing. LOL. We decided to drop off her groceries that she had picked up from COSTCO on her way to my house to her house. She also picked up new eyeglasses which looked so good on her and had very “fancy looking” frames. At her house, I said hello to my son-in-law and to my grandpups who were excited to see me. I spent a few minutes giving Miss Aspen a belly rub. Soon we were on our way to a nearby community that was hosting the free cycle and I made an error in my previous post(s). It was Stony Plain that was having the freecycle weekend and June is when Spruce Grove (my daughter’s home) is hosting this event. We drove around and admired homes looking for people who were participating in the freecycle. The first thing we found was what looked like a garden hose and was very soft and flexible and two battery operated garden lights. We also pulled up to this house and we both spotted three vases. One was a dark copper, tall and cylindrical and the other were glass and beautiful. I was in love with the copper one and luck would have it my daughter loved the other two, most especially one that was greens and yellows so pretty. Another person pulled up right behind us but she stayed in the vehicle until we were finished. WE got lucky. We also found a bit later a bunch of medium and small Christmas tins which I love to use either to give baked goods to during the holidays or to wrap a small gift. We stopped at a garage sale and my daughter brought a brass bathroom towel holder stand. It was heavy and well made and worth the $10 that the woman asked for when we asked how much it was? We decided to drop off our finds at her home. At my daughter’s I got to meet the infamous pup LUNA who lives next door, formally met Luna’s parents and gave Miss Aspen more belly rubs along with Luna who kept giving me kisses when I rubbed her back. Mi Mi he would come for attention and then leave. The car was unloaded, a snack was had and bathroom breaks and then we were on the road once again. This time with stops to Canadian TIRE and then a greenhouse/nursery. I was able to pick up several items that I had wanted and a few extra things. It started to rain when we got to the greenhouse. We were standing in line. I said we would only wait 5 minutes or so and then leave as I did not have to buy flowers this time around. Before you know it was raining hard and people were starting to move inside. The young male employee was trying valiantly to keep people outside as it was against health regulations. No one listened. One older woman did not want to stand outside and basically just “pushed” her way into a corner and then when her husband came he just said he was with her. Some people. Most people moved into the entrance way which was frustrating the employee who was trying to keep people outside. Another employee came and told everyone that they could be shut down but no one seemed to care, they just did not want to get wet. We stood at the entrance, as we were third to go into the nursery. Anyway, there was chatter while we were there. Some laughs. No one seemed to remember the order except for me. Then we had a cart it had been sanitized and we were in the greenhouse. So many beautiful flowers and plants. While my daughter went to check out the succulents, I went to the other side. First find was some impatiens plants that were 6/$6.95 so I grabbed a couple of them. That was the last time that I looked at the price. The name of the game was to pick up some flowers and get home to Mr. Alvin. We were already later than I had originally planned. Although he had not been alone for very long as my neighbour had gone over around 3:00 p.m., I did not want to stress him more than necessary. I caught up to my daughter and we went around and picked up flowers that appealed to us. I picked up some many and was really excited. We were both excited as we love to plant flowers. I may need more for my front flower bed but it was a good start. Considering I had not been paying attention to the cost, I came in way under budget. So it goes to show you that if you pick out only the items that you love …. that you may just come in under budget/cost. Happy as a lark, I was. By the time that we got out of the greenhouse, the rain had stopped. We loaded up the car and were on our way to my house. Thankfully it is a short drive and we were home just after 5:30 p.m., so not too late. Mr. Alvin did let me know his feelings on the subject though. I let him out right away followed by his supper. We unloaded the plants and my shopping items and then my daughter was on her way. Once she was out of the garage I moved the flowers/plants into the middle of the floor. We are going to be busy this weekend. Pressure washing the deck and the house, planting flowers, the Fifth Avenue Jewelry lives which we had one last night at 7:30 p.m., laundry (that load I put in a while ago will be long since washed, a walk and some cleaning and whatever else I can squeeze into today and then tomorrow. I had better get this show on the road.

Oh, one more thing. After I fed Mr. Alvin last night I decided we should go for a walk before the rain. The sky held some big dark clouds. We did not get the rain shower that Spruce Grove had while we were flower shopping. We got to the park and Alvin decided that was far enough, I tried to convince him to go further but he would not so we headed home. I remembered as we got closer to the mailboxes that I had not picked up the mail recently and I had heard that the census had been mailed so decided to stop and grab the mail. While we were walking I noticed two woman and a medium size dog on the same side of the sidewalk as we were on and we had to cross to pick up the mail which we did. It was then that we were close enough and one woman had her back to us and I thought that she looked familiar. When we grabbed the mail we were crossing the street but there was a car in between us and when we came around the other side I realized that I in fact knew this woman. Surprise of all surprises, this is my new neighbour. The people that were moving out said a “woman” had bought their duplex and who knew that it would be someone that I knew. How cool is that? Very cool. We chatted for a few minutes. WOW.

I had better get going. Get dressed and get that load of laundry hung up and the next one into the washer. Lots to do this day.

I am excited to try out my new garden hose.

We wish you a wonderful day.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion and patience.

Always, Love Carol & Alvin

Thought for the day …..

Good Morning and Welcome to Saturday the 16th day of February, 2019.

It is WARMER this morning than has been for a long while.

I just heard on the weather channel that this is the longest stretch of COLD weather in February for Edmonton in 30 years.

WOW, can you imagine that.

I was not living here at that time.

Anyway about 3-4 days and it we will have single digit temperatures for a couple of days.

It will feel like a tropical heat wave.

I can see folks out in their shorts for sure.

We are (not me) like that, you know.

Lots of snow overnight so have some shovelling in my forecast.

Supposed to snow starting at 7:00 a.m. however; it has not started as yet.

 

Yesterday at work I had a craving for a nice crunch cheesy pizza.

I had the taste in my mouth and when I mentioned it to a co-worker she had the same craving.

I asked her where the best pizza was in Edmonton and she said hands down “ROYAL PIZZA.”

So after I looked after Alvin after work – I set about finding a location which joyfully there was in my neighbourhood.

Not immediate but still close enough by.

So I ordered this – pizza sauce with pieces of crumbled Italian sausage, onions, mushroom and mozzarella cheese on top.

The CRUST was amazing.

I had to wait for one hour till about 7:00 p.m. as the driver said it hit 5:00 p.m. and all of a sudden they had 20 deliveries to make.

So they got behind.

The driver was so nice.

I will say this …. best $36.25 that I have ever spent.

Normally I do not order pizza or anything in for that matter.

But it was just one of those nights.

Perhaps all of this cold OR perhaps just a food memory that pushed me over the edge.

But well worth it.

So good, the taste was incredible.

A bit of crunch …. hard to explain.

But if you live in the Edmonton area …. I highly recommend this pizza place.

I was in heaven …. Alvin tried to join me but I told him “no pizza for you my boy.”

Instead he had broccoli.

This is the pizza that had me gaga …..

The corner piece, the first bite I took, actually was smaller than the photo shows.

But it was so GOOD.

BEST TREAT ever.

I am going to start treating myself once in awhile.

Of course, one cannot eat pizza every night.

 

Okay, time to get this show on the road.

Teddy and his Aunt J are coming this afternoon for a visit and staying for supper.

Aunt J is bringing the fixings for a TACO dinner.

So excited.

I am supplying the dessert.

It was supposed to be Maple Walnut frozen yogurt but sadly SAVEON was out so it is Dutch Chocolate.

Which is okay (I had a taste the other night).

 

Have an awesome day.

Always, no matter what, TREAT yourself.

It is especially important for us who live alone.

I know that I am not alone as I have Mr. Alvin but I mean without another human in the household.

Whether it is pizza or a movie or perhaps both.

Manicure or pedicure.

Treat yourself.

Take the time to pamper yourself within your budget.

Mine was pizza.

I loved it.

Feeling so spoiled.

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day to ME.

 

Special Hello to: my sister, my friend V and to all my girls out there and the boys, too.  Happy Saturday.  It is a GREAT day.

Always, Carol & Alvin

Thought for the day ….

Good Morning and Welcome to Tuesday the 2nd day of October, 2018.

Well here we are October 2018.

My how the time flies.

No snow on the ground this morning which is always a good thing.

On our way home from a walk last night it started to snow.

Luckily they all melted upon touchdown.

 

Yesterday I read something about budgeting.

You know how they say do not spend more than 30% of your income on rent/mortgage.

You know how they say to save 10% of your earnings.

The new thing now was “budget for food.”

One said $200.00 per person per month including the extras like hygiene products and toiletries.

I am pretty sure that I spend over $200.00.

A few years ago when money was a lot tighter than now, I spent $50.00 per week, maximum.

It was not easy to buy fresh fruit and veggies on that budget.

Some items were just out of my league.

Both of those items have increased substantially since that time.

So I have decided as we just started October, that I am going to be super mindful of what I spend.

I am going to keep the $200.00 monthly amount in my head and see if I can do it.

It will be hard as I have to pick up laundry soap soon.

I spent $30.25 last night at the grocery store, so now I am down to $169.75 (did not even use a calculator).

Thankfully the $200.00 does not include Alvin.

I will keep posting on my progress.

Will see how I do.

I quite honestly do not know how large families do it.

If you are budget conscience and have some tips, please let me know.

Also I guess it depends if that report came out of the U.S. or Canada?

 

Well almost time to leave for work.

 

Alvin and I enjoyed our walk with the leaves and the geese.

Love FALL.

So nice to see the water fountain still going.

I love the sound.

 

Special Hello to: all those folks who budget and are successful.

Thought for the day …..

Good Morning and Welcome to Saturday the 3rd day of June, 2017.

It was bright and sunny with a bit of a breeze this morning and now the sky seems to be filled with scattered clouds.

So we shall see.

Yesterday was a rainy day until about supper time.

Alvin and I managed to get a walk in after supper and the evening remained beautiful.

Mr. Alvin is about to have a haircut and bath as soon as I am done here.

My first job is to give him a haircut, bath and clean his ears and double check to ensure he has no TICKS.

I have been checking after each walk but have to make doubly sure.

The front lawn, back lawn and by the garage are filled with those beautiful little yellow flowers er, weeds, we call “dandelions.”

So I have to figure out some way of getting rid of them that does not call for poisons that are bad for animals, the environment and wallet.

There is no way to dig them out.

They just got crazy after this last round of rain.

So lots to to do.

I will keep busy this weekend.

 

Hopefully tomorrow Alvin and I can walk over the one of the parks north of us and check out the baby geese.

I see them every morning on the bus ride to work.

I would like to get some photos of them.

WISH me luck.

But that is for tomorrow.

I would like to go first thing tomorrow morning if it is sunny …..

 

Well time to get this show on the road.

Food for thought:  Stay within your budget and keep old friends close.

 

Happy Saturday Everyone.

Special Hello to: my family and friends ……

Always, Carol & Alvin

Thought for the day ……

Good Morning and Welcome to Thursday the 9th day of February, 2017.

Today is a very, very special day in our family and for me.

On this day  “40” years ago my sister gave birth to my first nephew.

I cannot believe that he is going to be 40 which means I am going to be 60.

We are twenty years apart.

 

He has a very special place in my heart.

We spent a good deal of time together over the years. and it has meant the world to me.

He was this eager, busy-energetic, inquisitive, highly intelligent, bold, adventurous,  kind, loving little boy with the blonde hair and strawberry lips who simply melted your heart.

He did have a bit of a mischievous streak running through him but mostly he was just super busy and full of energy.

Always asking questions – always wanting to know.

But “why Auntie.”

Or he would hear a word that was not something a small child would typically use in a sentence but he did, and used it correctly.

One time when he was about three, I was sitting at the kitchen table working on my budget, and crunching some numbers using the calculator.

He came up to me and said “Auntie, what is that?”

I replied “it is a calculator” and before I could say anything he said “Auntie, I would like to do some calculating.”

He was three.  I will say he was always good with numbers.

I watched him go from that cute little boy into a mature, eager, energetic, inquisitive, highly intelligent, bold, kind, loving husband and father to three little boys.

I am so proud of this boy now grown man.

Go figure that he would have three boys of his own.

 

With my move to Edmonton we have not seen as much of each other as we had over the years but he is always in my thoughts.

He will always be my cute blonde headed strawberry lipped little boy.

 

So on this Thursday the 9th day of February, 2017, I want to wish my first born nephew “T” …. a very Happy 40th Birthday.

Now he will not be likely reading this but I hope that he knows in his heart how much he means to me and always will.

He was the son that I never had ….. (don’t tell Alvin).

 

I also wanted to mention that yesterday was one of the best days of my life.

So many little things …. great moments ….. great day.

I never thought that I would be so happy not to have mail delivered to me (this was at work).

I am so grateful to be me.

 

 

Special Hello to: my nephew “T” …. Happy Happy 40th Birthday.

Always, Carol & Alvin

Thought for the day…..

Good Morning and Welcome to Friday the 20th day of March, 2015.

Awoke to a fresh blanket of the white stuff covering everything.

The deck is white.

The rooftops are white.

The street is white.

One last snowfall ….. Mother Nature has a great sense of humour.

The past couple or so days at work have been odd.

Due in part to some staff leaving on a voluntary lay-off.

Government cut-backs …. funding…..

But there was something else that played a part in the mood.

Everyone has been feeling in a kind of “funk” …..

We figured out what was possibly making us all feel at odds with life in general and that is the MOON.

When the Moon is closest to the earth it is called a Supermoon.

WOW, what a connection

Also in addition to the Supermoon is the Solar Eclipse and Spring Equinox.

If that isn’t enough to throw us all into a major FUNK ……

 

At this same time, I have felt empowered to make some major changes in my life.

Might as well do it on the first day of spring….

Sometimes after going in the same direction for an amount of time you must stop and makes some changes.

I always consider things to the fullest.

I am not one to make a change without due consideration.

I felt a major relief once I gave myself permission to make this change.

It is a big one.

I think that we all find that happens at some point over our lifetime.

We just go about doing what we think we need to do and then one day it is like someone takes the blindfold off, and gives you permission to try something new.

Nothing ventured – nothing gained.

I am looking forward to this next chapter with a full heart and at the same time some “heartache.”

Life goes on.

Back to winter boots ….

Ah, it is Friday …… working all weekend at the store…..

Special Hello to: all those folks making changes.

Always, Carol and Alvin

Thought for the day…..

Good Morning and Welcome to Wednesday the 31st and last day of July 2013.

Wow, another beautiful morning here in Edmonton.

I always love the morning sky.

Last night after watching a couple of shows that I tape …

More than ever, I realize that how many people are affected by the “keeping up with the Jones.”

The North American society is too much affected by consumerism.

Always have to have the next new thing.

We always live way beyond our means.

I learned the hard way, and it is much more satisfying to live within your means.

Only buy what you need and the occasional treat when you have the cash.

Living on credit is not a happy life.

It will catch up with you eventually.

Well time to go and I have so much that I would like to say on this subject but alas it will have to wait for another day.

Think about your finances …. still down with your family and go through what you spend ….

You will blow your mind when you see where your money goes.

Enjoy the last day of July.

Special Hello to: all those people who live within their means… You rock.

Always, Caro

FIRST LINE …..July 25, 2013

As we walk along the water’s edge the coolness leaves my skin with goose bumps and prickles, as if there is someone behind me.

July 26, 2013

Alvin pulls on his leash and brings me back, the fragrance of freshly cut grass fills my nostrils; my heart beat quickens, and I am unable to shake the feeling.

July 28, 2013

The sky is overcast with a hint of sunrise peeking through and the leaves of the trees rustle in the breeze, and I think how did I get here? 

July 29, 2013

What does that mean, and what is making me think these thoughts?

July 30, 2013

All of a sudden the leash tightens as Alvin pulls me forward.

July 31, 2013

My body lurches forward as I fight to keep my balance, what is going on …. “Alvin,” I cry as things appear to be happening in slow motion.