The Next Chapter

Good Morning. How are you this morning? I am okay. I tossed and turned a lot, thinking of a certain someone. Oh, how I miss my Alvin. Seems like it has been forever since he snuggled beside me on the sofa and in bed and that we walked together. Whenever I walk now it feels like something is missing. Someone is missing. I miss you Buddy.

I am feeling better this morning compared to yesterday morning. Off to work I go today.

The time change always seems to wreak havoc with my sleep patterns and those of so many. I remember it taking Alvin a good couple of weeks to get back in our routine after the time changed. So in time, (lol), I will be back to normal, whatever the heck that may be. At this point, my life is anything but normal. Everything seems to be changing or at least it feels like it. I guess with Alvin passing and the changes at work, that is enough to throw even the most positive feeling person into a tailspin. Spinning is where I am at …… just hope that it stops soon. I am trying.

My daughter launched a book (journal type for writing) on Amazon which is pretty cool. Her artwork as always is beautiful. She is so talented. Wishing her all the best in this endeavour.

Well this is going to be short. I had some technical difficulties. You see with this new computer not only are the mouse and keyboard wireless they are battery “less” as well. You have to charge them. I found that out the hard way.

Have a good day.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is my word for the day. It is likely one of the hardest things to do. Especially when it is to yourself.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel).

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! I hope that this finds you well. Life is going on at a fast pace and I find myself caught somewhere in between. I will always miss my little buddy Alvin and that goes without saying. He played a very important role in my life and me in his. Oh, Alvin I sure wish that you were here laying on the carpet outside the office door as I write my morning posts.

Today is another day at the office and then Thursday at home and Friday at the office. Countdown to being at our new site on Monday. The renovations are not as yet completed so not sure if our time at the site will be short initially. When do renovations ever go according to plan? Anyway, it will happen soon enough.

It seems so dark outside at 6:33 a.m. but by 7:00 it is light already. Perhaps the sky is overcast. I think that our time changes this weekend, we go ahead one hour. Spring forward. I hope that spring is close.

The words usually fall onto the keyboard but not this morning, so this will be short. I am sorry. Life. I guess my brain is just plain tired. Too many things going on to keep me jumping all over the place. Life.

I hope that you have a good day. Take care and be safe, always.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Of all the above, I believe that forgiveness is the most difficult to do.

Always, Carol & Alvin (my forever Angel)

The Next Chapter

Good Morning! How are you? I am okay. Just feeling so lonely but I do spend my time in the house speaking to Alvin as though he were here. I have been talking to him for over 13 years so hard to stop now. He is with me in each and every room of this house. I have to listen to videos to hear him. He is my heart. I miss him so much. My little buddy. Such a great friend to me.

We had some snow yesterday. I only wore my shoes to work so when Michelle and I went for a walk over our lunch break my feet were a tad cold, of course the sky was overcast and it was actually cold, I believe about minus 12 celsius. Not really a cold temperature is you are “dressed properly.” Anyway, I survived and it was good to get some fresh air. I will make sure that I put up my hood as my years were cold, too. Oh well. At least I can feel the air on my body.

Tonight after work I want to spend some time working on transferring photos from my old computer to the external hard drive. They need to get done and I can no longer put this process off. On the weekend, Sunday actually I did get a good amount moved which made me feel better. I cannot wait until I have them all done, safe and sound on the hard drive which has room for all the photos that I can likely ever take, well maybe. I always took a lot of photos but they were mainly of Alvin.

I put on some coffee to perk as they took away our coffee machine at the office. Our days are numbered at that office. Today and three days next week and then the following week we will be at our new office. We saw some photos yesterday, they have some work to do before it will be ready and we were told that it will not be 100% complete. What that means we will find out on March 13th, 2023. More changes, more new things. Life.

I hope that you have a good day and that you are safe and warm.

Cannot believe that today is March 1st, 2023. Not a great start to the year. So many changes and so much loss. My heart is hurting.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and forgiveness.

Always, Carol & Alvin, my forever Angel.

The Next Chapter

Morning. The sun was coming up when I first started to read this post. I decided to read back over the last couple of months regarding Alvin. The sun is now shining and the sky is a pretty blue. The temperature is supposed to be warming up and I am grateful. I cannot believe that my darling Alvin has been gone for almost one week. My heart is broken. There are no words and I know that I cannot change the ending of our story and it sucks. I miss him so much. The house is empty without him.

Yesterday afternoon a friend and neighbour came over with a beautiful plant arrangement and cards. Crystal loved Alvin and when I had texted them on Saturday, her husband gave her the news. She as am I are in disbelief. How can our beloved Alvin be gone? Really, how did this happen? We should be snuggling on the sofa and I should be having a conversation with him. Crystal has had to say goodbye to two beloved dogs over the years and I remember her last Daisy. She was a dolly and Alvin loved her. They used to play in the grass. I wished that I had photos of them together but I do not. I also forgot to add Miss Daisy to the list of Angels. He has company. She adopted Stella shortly after Daisy passed as the hurt was too great and then a couple of years later adopted Issy. My friend said that you will have always guilt and wondering why? Crystal is also a Nurse and said that most Vets as well as Doctors seems to treat the symptoms instead of investigating to see why there are problems in the first place. That was this case. By the time tests were actually done, he was in a bad place. I should have pushed earlier. That is something I will regret for the rest of my life. They are our responsibility and I clearly let him down. I was his voice and his protector and I did not. I keep going over everything in my head. Nothing I say or do or think at this point will bring him back, I so wished that it would. All that I can do from this point, is try to breathe and live this life which has been shattered. I am not looking forward to going back to work. But I suppose the drama of that place will give me a different focus for those hours.

I am trying to keep the good memories in the fore front of my brain, of my mind but perhaps it is too soon for that ….. I do not know. My life was touched by the best “heart” ever to be born on this planet. Alvin was the best. He was sweet, kind, stubborn, loving, cuddly, smart, funny and so much more. I was truly blessed to have had him in my life ….. I did not ask for him but he found me and that was a miracle. He was my miracle. Alvin you blessed my life with your presence. I shall miss you and there is a canyon of a hole in my heart that will never heal. I do not want it to heal as it will keep you real.

Trying to remember to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities and coffee.

Always, Carol & Alvin, my forever Angel.

Last Half 2022 – December

Good Morning All! How are you this Wednesday morning? I am grateful to be working from home today. We had a small amount of snow last night, actually I think before I went to bed. So the once cleared sidewalk now has a light sheet not even a blanket covering.

Last night right after I arrived home from work, I set my backpack and work things inside the house, locked the house and then carried on for a walk. It was so nice last night that I thought it would be a great idea to get out for some fresh air and exercise. On the way home, I stopped by the mailbox and picked up the mail. Inside were some Christmas cards from family and friends. I was doing an internal happy dance as I love to receive Christmas cards in the mail. I love to receive them period but most especially in the mail. Once inside the house, I took off my boots, set down the mail and carried on to the garage where I brought in the garbage bin as yesterday was trash pickup. Back in the house, I had a few things to do before supper so got them out of the way. Then supper (leftovers from Saturday’s Christmas party) went into the oven to warm. Once supper was done, I sat down on the sofa and munched away at my delicious supper. Missing my boy thought, it is way too quiet in the house and I have no one to snuggle with and not having him to go to bed with or to wake up to, seems very odd. My daughter sends pictures and videos often and he is definitely thriving in his new temporary surroundings. I think he is loving having two friends (Aspen and Milo) with him all the time and of course, his sister and brother-in-law. No stairs. New toys. Someone home all of the time. Good setup. One more week from Saturday and he will be back home. It was a good idea as I believe that we both needed a break but I will be SO EXCITED to have him home.

After supper, I did the dishes and turned on the dishwasher to wash the load that had been accumulating over the past couple of days. Then I just relaxed and watched some t.v. Quiet evening.

Countdown to Christmas: 10 days until Christmas Eve (and Alvin comes home with Aspen and Milo while the kids go to St. Albert for Steven’s family’s Christmas.

Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities and coffee.

Always, Carol & Alvin

P.S. have a wonderful Wednesday ……..