The Next Chapter

Morning. The sun was coming up when I first started to read this post. I decided to read back over the last couple of months regarding Alvin. The sun is now shining and the sky is a pretty blue. The temperature is supposed to be warming up and I am grateful. I cannot believe that my darling Alvin has been gone for almost one week. My heart is broken. There are no words and I know that I cannot change the ending of our story and it sucks. I miss him so much. The house is empty without him.

Yesterday afternoon a friend and neighbour came over with a beautiful plant arrangement and cards. Crystal loved Alvin and when I had texted them on Saturday, her husband gave her the news. She as am I are in disbelief. How can our beloved Alvin be gone? Really, how did this happen? We should be snuggling on the sofa and I should be having a conversation with him. Crystal has had to say goodbye to two beloved dogs over the years and I remember her last Daisy. She was a dolly and Alvin loved her. They used to play in the grass. I wished that I had photos of them together but I do not. I also forgot to add Miss Daisy to the list of Angels. He has company. She adopted Stella shortly after Daisy passed as the hurt was too great and then a couple of years later adopted Issy. My friend said that you will have always guilt and wondering why? Crystal is also a Nurse and said that most Vets as well as Doctors seems to treat the symptoms instead of investigating to see why there are problems in the first place. That was this case. By the time tests were actually done, he was in a bad place. I should have pushed earlier. That is something I will regret for the rest of my life. They are our responsibility and I clearly let him down. I was his voice and his protector and I did not. I keep going over everything in my head. Nothing I say or do or think at this point will bring him back, I so wished that it would. All that I can do from this point, is try to breathe and live this life which has been shattered. I am not looking forward to going back to work. But I suppose the drama of that place will give me a different focus for those hours.

I am trying to keep the good memories in the fore front of my brain, of my mind but perhaps it is too soon for that ….. I do not know. My life was touched by the best “heart” ever to be born on this planet. Alvin was the best. He was sweet, kind, stubborn, loving, cuddly, smart, funny and so much more. I was truly blessed to have had him in my life ….. I did not ask for him but he found me and that was a miracle. He was my miracle. Alvin you blessed my life with your presence. I shall miss you and there is a canyon of a hole in my heart that will never heal. I do not want it to heal as it will keep you real.

Trying to remember to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities and coffee.

Always, Carol & Alvin, my forever Angel.

2021

Good Morning ALL! How are you today? Alvin and I are well. Wishing my special nephew Taylor a Happy Birthday. Last year on Remembrance Day I wrote the following and thought that I would share it again. Let us remember.

REMEMBRANCE

An old woman sits alone in a small room,

Quietly weeping as she remembers,

The lives lost because of wars fought on this earth.

The first person she remembers losing was her Uncle Jack, she was only a small girl at the time, age four.

Uncle Jack used to bring a bag of sweets when he visited her family.

He was her Father’s oldest brother,

He fought in the first World War.

She remembers her grandparents receiving a telegram briefly stating that Uncle Jack was killed in action and thanking them for his service to his country.

She was married when World War II started and had a family of her own.

She remembers two of her four brothers enlisting at the beginning of the war.

She remembers her Mother’s quiet screams when they received notification that they were killed in action in some country far far away.

On the day when her husband decided he could no longer sit back and hear of the stories of lost family and friends and the possibility of the world being lost to a mad man, he hugged her and enlisted in the armed forces. A trained pilot was badly needed. She felt in her heart that he would not return. She hugged him tightly and kisses him hard on the mouth so that she would have that memory for the rest of her life.

In 1943, she received the yellow paper stating that her husband John and his crew were shot down and presumed killed in action. She wept quietly as she held the paper in her hands. Now she was truly alone and would continue to raise her six children on her own.

Years later when her second eldest son, also a pilot like his father joined the Armed Forces and went to fly in the Korean War, her heart skipped a beat. How could she go through this again but there was no stopping Edward, he was much like his Father when he made up his mind. Only a few short months after he left his plane was shot down by the enemy. Another letter, another life lost to these terrible wars. When would they end?

In the Vietnam War, her youngest daughter Katherine who was a nurse signed up, as a sign of the times to go and provide aid to the wounded. Also a short time later another son Mark decided to follow his sister, he was a Doctor. Medical personnel were greatly needed.

She remembers listening to the television and watching news clips of the war and missing her children so much not knowing if they would return. Occasionally receiving a letter from them.

On a summer day a black car pulled up to her home and two men in uniforms came to the door. Her daughter Katherine had been killed by enemy fire when she was tending to the wounded. Her son Mark returned home at Christmas in 1974 he had been wounded but he was alive. He was the first family member in all those decades to return home alive from a war. She was grateful.

The last war that involved her family was the Persian Gulf War in 1990. Two of her great grandchildren were enlisted in the Army at this time but thankfully they returned home, uninjured.

At 107, she had lost so many members of her family to War. The memories still front and centre in her mind. That was her cross to bear having a good sense of recollection.

Now, too old to participate in Remembrance Day Ceremonies, she sits quietly in her room …….

Written by C.Lewis on November 11, 2020

COUNTDOWN: 60 Days to 60

Today is Sunday, July 9, 2017 and it is the 32rd day until my 60th Birthday.

One day away from one month until the big BIRTHDAY.

Less than that until my sister arrives for a ten day visit.

Cannot believe she is staying with us for ten days.

We are so excited.

This birthday will be extra special with my sister and my baby brother here.

It would have been nice if our other brother would have been here but he will be on vacation to British Columbia, I totally understand.

 

So has there been a topic that I have not covered in the almost thirty days that I have been writing this post?

Mm, not sure about that.

 

I will say that no matter what happens in your life – it is imperative that you follow your heart – make your dreams come true.

It is so important when you are no longer twenty something or even forty something.

Time flies and make use of the present.

It is hard, I know.

There will always be something that will come up and will interfere or interpret those dreams but keep certain in them.

Three things that I would say that I always wanted to do:

1.  Have four Children and be a Mother
2.  Be a Nurse
3.  Be a published Writer

 

I have one beautiful daughter and I am a Mother.

My whole life I have helped people in situations that needed some type of assistance.

I now write this BLOG and am working on putting together all my ideas for a book.

 

So you see sometimes things do not work out exactly how you planned but they worked out as they should in the end.

Somedays I may be a bit stressed over finances or my job but at the end of the day it all works out.

I am where I should be.

I am where I want to be.

 

Happy Me……..

 

Always, Carol

Thought for the day……

Fantastic Friday Morning …… Hello Everyone….

Today is my niece Dee’s (Dara’s) 27th Birthday, and I want to WISH her the most amazing, awesome, great, wonderful DAY.

It seems like only yesterday that she was born.

She was my first niece, and will always hold a special place in my heart.

This young woman is soft-spoken but can certainly hold her own when she has to.

She has a heart of gold (which runs in our family)   ……

She is smart, witty and funny.

She is a superb Mom and Wife, Daughter, Sister, Niece and Friend.

At 27 she is going back to school (upgrading) so that she can become a nurse.

She works full-time, too.

How wonderful is that!

I am so incredibly proud of her.

I really could write for hours about this girl, this woman but I shall keep it short and sweet.

On this day ….. let’s tip our hats or lift our hands high into the air to WISH DARA …

THE HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS ….

Happy Birthday My Girl.

May your light continue to shine down upon this earth.

May your blessings be too many to count.

May your days be filled with love and laughter.

May abundance be all around you.

May your dreams all come true.

Special Hello: DARA, DARA, DARA, DARA …….. Happy Birthday….

Always, Carol