Morning, not sure if I when I can say “Good Morning” or good really anything. It is light outside. Spring is coming. A time of birth and renewal but for me it feels anything but. My mind just keeps replaying Alvin’s last week over and over and over again. I hold his little Teddy Bear close to my heart and I cover myself with his blue blanket to try and find some comfort but there is no comfort in death. I feel so lost and so alone without him. I wished that I had done so many things differently. Why didn’t I? Where was my brain? I was so stupid that last week. I knew better. I never wanted to hurt my little buddy. I love, loved him so much. There are moments throughout the day when I busy myself with something and then the guilt, the loss, comes tumbling back again and the tears burn my eyes and stain my face. I long to lay beside him and hear his breathing, his little snores. I listen to the videos of him opening gifts, playing with toys and at least for a moment there is some relief. He was happy then.
Tomorrow is back to work. Perhaps that will be a good thing, I have no idea. There is so much going on there and I feel that I passed on all the anxiety that my job has given me over the last days, months and perhaps even years to Alvin. We forget how sensitive they are to our feelings and why are we not the same in return. I do know in my heart that we had many, many good years together and I am reminded of that by family and friends and photos and memories. If I could just forgive myself for the last week or last few days of his life but I do not want to be reprieved from mistakes that I made. How can I when he was depending on me for his very life. He did not ask for much, really only food and love. To be treated with kindness and respect.
I walked over to the Shoppers Drugmart in our neighbourhood to pick up a bus pass for March. A seniors one, that is hard to believe as I will need that for work for a bit before my coworker is back working in the same office as me. Afterwards I went to Save-On, when I picked up some bananas, I could see Alvin in my mind, standing beside me, wanting a little taste of one of his favourite foods on the planet. I only wished that I had, had some bananas in the house that last week. There are so many if’s flying around my brain, slamming into each other. The air was warm on the walk and it would have been a fine time for us to be out and about enjoying the sunshine. I miss my walks with him.
I am going to make some coffee and then try and get some photos moved from my old computer to the external hard drive while I still can. Each day that computer gets another day older. With the age – I am unable to transfer them all at once so a few hundred at a time. Then it will be figuring out which are which after. So much work when technology gets old.
Continuing to try and live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus, possibilities, coffee and I need to add forgiveness although I am not sure if that is in the cards for me.
Good Morning ALL! I hope that you are doing well. Looks like a beautiful day ahead. Feeling a bit lazy and Alvin had to “make” me get up and going. I was just thinking that perhaps my iron levels are low and maybe that is why I have been feeling a bit “low energy” the past little while. Could also be due to weather and other things as well but could be iron, too. I have to watch what I eat and ensure that I am eating lots of nutrient filled foods. Which honestly I do but lately perhaps been on the lower scale of what should be eating. Sounds cryptic. Must eat better. I think that sleeping in chopped sections does not help either. For years I have been getting up with Alvin about 3-4 a.m. everyday, I suppose it has to eventually catch up with me. Anyway, I am okay. Just a bit tired. Sometimes a person’s get up and goes seems to have got up and gone. LOL.
Last night Alvin was up at midnight thrashing his ears. Which likely means an ear infection but strange nothing since then. I will keep an eye on him. He is due for his regular appointment at the vet which I should make this week for him. I work at the office on Tuesday so will call today and see if can make for Monday.
So it is the weekend. I believe we are supposed to have double digit temperatures today, which will make walking great. Yesterday we went for two walks and both times, I wore a light sweater and was not cold. I started to take the water bottle with us as well and Mr. Alvin has been drinking the water, so that is good.
I did some laundry later in the week while I was on vacation so I don’t have a day filled with laundry which is nice. I have to get going on cleaning out closets. I think it may now be safe to take the winter stuff and put in the basement closet. Recently I purchased some new spice containers (tupperware) from my friend Val so I will need to go through my pantry and reorganize. I will say that I do clean out my pantries and reorganize fairly regularly. I am one of those people who likes things neat and in order. When things are messy – I feel stressed. With May right around the corner and a garage sale coming up in June, I need to make a plan and get going on it. Do you find that once you get going on a task – it becomes easier? Sometimes you just have to start?
I suppose I am feeling the same way that most people are these days. In a rut? A bit low energy? Unsure of things. What to do? Where to go?
Well this has certainly been a heavy post this morning. I am sorry about that. Also I forgot that yesterday was Earth Day. There certainly wasn’t much mentioned. I know why I was confused thinking that we already had Earth Day and that was because of Earth Hour which was in March. One thing that I do want to do today is to go out and pick up trash. I have been picking up pieces since the snow melted but there is so much. My big wish is that people would keep the trash picked up from around and in front of their property. If that happened, would be so good. I noticed a lot of cigarette butts on the ground which makes me furious. I do not care if you smoke, cause I used to smoke and even on the odd occasion still have the odd puff but I never throw the butt on the ground. Did you know that scientists actually do not know how long cigarette butts/filters take to decompose? Some think could be 500-1000 years and of course there is not sufficient data to support this or deny this thinking. At the end of the day – if you smoke please do not throw your butt on the ground. Animals and birds may think it is food and eat them causing all sorts of issues and eventually even death. Nicotine is not good for animals and the materials in the filter can pierce the organs of an animal causing death.
Okay, I better go as I am clearly walking down a darker path and need to see the light. Have a shower and then some coffee and get this day going. A walk with Alvin. Clean up the “hood.” Today is a good day. I guess you have to walk through the darkness to get to the light. LOL. Sorry. I am in a strange frame of mind. Not bad, don’t worry. I am good.
Alvin is patiently waiting for me.
I hope that the light is shining brightly for you on this day. Have a great Saturday.
Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus and possibilities.
Good Morning ALL! Another beautiful morning. I am going to work at the office today. My neighbour will check in on Mr. Alvin a few times over the course of the day so that he can have a snack and also go outside to pee. I shall miss the boy.
I am so grateful for this nice weather. When we were out walking at my lunch break and after work, I saw some neighbours and it reminded me of summertime. It was so wonderful.
I am running a bit late this morning so I have to keep this short.
All I really wanted to say was that beautiful weather can make all the difference in the world to one’s state of mind. Temperatures rose and almost immediately “smiles” were everywhere. All of a sudden it is not dangerous to be outside and we can once again enjoy our walks or for some of us going outside period. Alvin cannot take the cold. Even with a warm jacket on, it is too much. He does not like anything touching his paws so cannot wear booties. But we definitely are taking advantage of these days. I shall miss our lunchtime walk.
I hope that you have a wonderful day.
Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, gratitude, understanding, focus and possibilities.
Always, Carol & Alvin
P.S. I can smell the aroma of the coffee that has perked and is awaiting me. My daughter is picking me up on her way to work (thank goodness no public transportation).
Good Morning ALL! What a beautiful morning. Feels like a tropical heat wave. Almost time to bring out the sandals and light jacket, almost. Well something kind of unnerving but cool at the same time happened this morning, almost one hour ago now. I was on my way back upstairs to have a shower when I saw a dog running by my house. As it ran, I realized that it was a coyote and not a dog. I have never seen a coyote go by my house. It turned down the next back lane going east and then headed north. Unfortunately I did not have my phone in my hand as I was going to pick it up when something caught my eye outside on the street. Would have been great to have had a photo of our visitor. I sure hope that no one left their dogs outside unattended as I think that they can actually jump the height of our fences. I immediately texted all of my friends in the neighbourhood to warn them. One of my friends already texted me back to say that she saw a big one running down the street about two days ago. They are getting brave and must be hungry. Quite scary. Another reason why I do not walk with Alvin or by myself in the dark. It is hard not to in the wintertime. But when we go after work, will make sure that we go right after work no dilly dallying about. We have a lot of rabbits in the neighbourhood. I know it is the circle of life but the thought makes me feel bad/sad. Anyway, it is good to be aware of your surroundings and I am glad that I let my friends and neighbours know.
I sure could have stayed out in the backyard this morning as it is so warm. Really nice. The snow is becoming sticky and is feeling like snowman making time. Perhaps later.
Last night I went to visit one of my neighbours, the one with the new pup. The name reverted back to its’ original one which is Kami. She is a delight and for eight months old, quite well behaved. We will be watching her on Wednesday night while her Mom goes curling and I cannot wait. Excited for Alvin and Kami to get to know each one a bit better. They have met so that is great. I also have to go into the office tomorrow for the day. My neighbour will come and check on Mr. Alvin as I do not wish to leave him alone for that long of a day. Too long for an older guy.
Well time to have some coffee (sure am enjoying my new coffee perk) and get settled in for work.
I look forward to walking at my lunch break again today. Yesterday was nice but today is warmer already.
Have an awesome day. Be careful and enjoy your day.
Continuing to live this day with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus and possibilities.
Good Morning ALL! Another Sunday morning. It is snowing. We sure have a lot of snow. I was out shovelling on the deck and I am running out of places to put the snow. It felt heavy but it is likely because it was morning and I had just got up and gone out with Mr. Alvin. On the plus side, it feels warmer. When I look outside the sky is white, the ground is white, the rooftops are white and snow is falling. We are literally covered in snow.
Yesterday I finally cleaned the area rug in my bedroom. I love my Bissell Crosswave, it works like a charm. Man was the water ever dirty. So happy to have that job done. I also cleaned the hallway rug as well. Lots of laundry was done yesterday as well. Looks like I have shovelling in my near future and I will round up the garbage and put in garage so that it is ready for Tuesday. With all of the pee pads from Cookie’s stay I may have to wait to put all of the garbage out. Oh well, not the end of the world.
Alvin is waiting patiently in the hallway, I believe as I cannot see him from my home computer as I moved it to the desk closest to the window and have my work computer near the door to the office. Today will be a quiet day for us. I am so excited for this week as with warmer temperatures we can go for walks. Our neighbours adopted an 8 month old female pup named Addy and she will be younger sister to Humphrey and Bogart. Her new very excited parents brought her over to meet us yesterday. She was very well behaved. Alvin barked once at her but I think it was a bark to say “okay young one, this is my house and I am the senior here.” Both did well together considering she is a puppy. I cannot wait to see her again. She was outside in the backyard with her Dad a few minutes ago. He went into the garage and she waited patiently outside the door.
Well I suppose I should get going and make some coffee before heading out to shovel, doing one last laundry as I forgot to wash Alvin’s sweater and he will need it this week when we walk. He has a jacket but it will be too small and the sweater covers all of him and keeps him warm. He does have a big warm jacket but he doesn’t like to wear it much. Actually it is almost too big for him. Perhaps I should see if it would fit Addy. I will see.
Have a great day. Be kind and respectful to yourself and to ours. We have to do better this year, we must. There is something about 2022 that tells me that. Something about the number.
Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus and possibilities.
Good Morning ALL! The sun is shining and the sky is mainly clear. Alvin and Cookie just had a chase going on upstairs as we get this Sunday morning underway. Yes, it is true that we have been sleeping in much later than normal but with the extra four-legged in the house and her being younger she is playing both of us out. So extra sleep is necessary. Besides what difference does it make. This is our time off and we are making the use of it. This is Cookie’s last sleep with us before she goes home. Tomorrow night her family arrives back home. I am going to check the temperature and find the pups outdoor gear and perhaps we should get outside for some fresh air. We have been inside for the majority of the last two weeks with the exception of my shovelling, Alvin going out to do his business and that sort of thing. I think that would be a great idea. I would like to do some laundry today and will do towels and bedding tomorrow. I will have to use my PET Bissell Crosswave tomorrow or Tuesday after work and clean the area rug in my bedroom. Freshen it up. This next week once Cookie returns home, I will take down the Christmas Tree and ornaments. I believe that the temperature is to be cold after today for another week so it is the perfect time to take down Christmas. Ornaments/decorations that is! It sure will be quiet around the house without the little one here. She brings life to us. I cannot remember the last time that Alvin tore through the house like he was 2. Now him tearing around is not so much a great idea after his last surgery in July. He seems to know his limits. Cookie is so funny, she just keeps poking and he just lays down on his belly outside the office door as if to say, “enough already” and knowing Alvin I am quite certain that he has a few further “choice” words to say.
It is hard to believe that we are now on Day two of the New Year and two sleeps until I start back to work. I am so grateful that I can continue to work from home. These past almost two years have been so great for me in that I am able to work from home and be with Alvin. No commute. Has been fantastic. Perfection. I have wanted to work at home for years but who knew it would take a pandemic for that “wish” to come true. Now of course, I would not wish for a pandemic. The loss of life and economics has been horrible. Humans have been talking about working from home since the 1970’s. I think working from home makes a lot of sense. Once we have more freedom to see family and friends – our mental health will improve greatly. For folks like myself that are alone – having contact with family and friends is a necessity. With Alvin, I find that if we are able to walk and I can see people to say hello each day that I do not need to see people for long periods of time every day. So we shall see what 2022 brings to the planet. I guess it all depends on what we do individually and collectively. I shall continue to live my life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus and possibilities. For that is all we can really do. One day at a time. We need to be good to each other and to ourselves. We need to be good to the environment, to the planet, to all other life. Lessen the greed.
Sounds like Cookie has given up trying to get Mr. Alvin’s attention. They played for awhile (I took some video) and now he has retreated to his position outside the office doorway.
The sun is shining brightly in through the office window. I sure hope that the temperature remains warm for a bit so that we can go out for a walk. I know that from about 10:00 p.m. last night the temperature was minus 6-7 degrees celsius which is a far cry from minus 30-40 degrees celsius. How can the temperature fluctuate that much in a matter of a few hours. Well it certainly did. I went outside last night to pick up poop with only a sweater. No coat. I did put on mitts as my hands are so desperately dry and cracked.
Well I should go. Time for a shower and get some laundry going. Coffee and see about going for a walk.
I wish you a great Sunday.
Continuing to live my life with kindness, respect, compassion, patience, love, laughter, understanding, gratitude, focus and possibilities.
Always, Carol, Alvin and Cookie
P.S. Alvin is reaching out for my assistance from the Cookie “Monster.” She is cute but keeps us busy.
Good Morning ALL! How are you doing today? We are good. Can you believe that it is Friday again? WOW. Time definitely passes more quickly with each passing day. Just means that we have to make the most of each one. That is definitely a reminder to myself. The sun was shining earlier but there appear to be a bit of cloud in the southern sky this morning. We did not get much rain mostly cloud cover the past few days. That is sad for sure. It is pretty dry out there. There is a breeze this morning. The forecast is for +20 degrees celsius today. How about that! I looked at the long range forecast and it appears that we have + double digits ahead, hip hip hooray! I booked this afternoon off as vacation as Mr. Alvin has a 3 p.m. vet appointment. So I am going to enjoy that time off from work with Mr. Alvin. We can walk at noon and then again later.
I think that I am going to post some photos. It is so great to have access to such beautiful photos. Also, I had better download photos from my camera so that I can share some of those with all of you.
Alvin is needing my attention so this will be quick.
Good Morning ALL! How are you this gorgeous bright sunny Thursday morning ( lol, I almost typed Wednesday)? Both Alvin and I are well. We got a good night sleep. Very grateful for the sleep. Always a great way to begin one’s day with a good night sleep. Alvin and I had a good walk yesterday and even though the temperature was in the single plus digits celsius it felt warm. By mid afternoon it was about 17+ celsius. Everyone was out walking. I had ordered my supper through SKIP THE DISHES. First time. I found out that between the delivery charge, the tip and taxes there was way less left on the gift card that I had received from my employer and I did not know how it all worked so I had to keep changing my order to have it fall within the “budget.” I thought by the charge of the food that some of the charges were included in the total but guess not. I am not sure that I would use this service again. Besides I am not one to order out for food. I do like ordering a pizza from Royal Pizza (best pizza place) once in awhile but other than that, I prefer to eat at home, something that I made even it was toast and eggs. Anyway, it was a nice change. At the end of it ….. I guess I helped give someone some earnings so it was worth it.
There is not much on our plate today other than regular old work. I am in the sixth week of training someone at work. Tomorrow I actually go into the office. My neighbour is going to check in on Alvin. He will definitely need to go outside to pee and need a treat during the time that I am away.
Saturday is supposed to be +18 or so and I have invited my two friends over for an outside coffee/tea visit in the morning on the deck. I have more than enough room to ensure that everyone is comfortable and is physically distanced from each other to keep within the restrictions set out by our health care professionals and government officials. I cannot wait. To share some stories and laugh, to laugh. Alvin is a pretty good story teller but laughing not so much.
Keeping on smiling and laughing and staying well. Take some time out of your busy day just for you. If you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do so ….. do it. Just relax.
Continuing to live this life with kindness, respect, compassion and patience.
Good Morning All. How are you doing today? Well we are in the countdown mode now. Can you believe “19” sleeps until Christmas EVE Day. WOW. I guess that means that I better get cracking with my Christmas Baking to ensure it is done and delivered before the big day. My list is bigger than I initially had decided upon. So I will be baking several batches of the following: Sugar Cookies with my special icing, Fudge, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Unbaked Chocolate Macaroons, and Raisin Cookies. So countless of dozens of delectable treats to be enjoyed by my kids, neighbours and friends and Alvin’s Dr. and her staff. I am so excited. I think that I am ahead of my usual curve than other years. Now that is a phrase we have heard this year but in reverse. Anyway, today, tomorrow and Monday are baking days. I even took Monday off as a vacation day so that I would have lots of time. In between the baking, I am hosting a online Fifth Avenue Collection jewelry party for which I only have to show up to the LIVES (whew), laundry, cleaning, my daughter is stopping by today with groceries and for a visit and a friend from work is stopping by to pick up her tea order. The baking and jewelry party is all weekend. My Jeweler Friend does lives at different times over the weekend. There was one last night, two today and one tomorrow. Looking out the office window the sunrise is beautiful once again. Last night after work Alvin and I joined my friend Pauline and her grandpup Georgie for a walk. The sun was setting already when we left the house at 4:30 and was gorgeous. Someone had even pulled their car over to the side of the road and was taking photos. It was very pretty. Alvin and I had two good walks yesterday one at noon which was about 25-30 and then a 45 minute one after work. So if we do not make it out today we will not be behind, thank goodness. The battle of the midsection has definitely been HUGE this year but in all honesty I think it has been a carryover from last year and the year before. I cannot blame it on COVID19. Okay, perhaps just a little.
What are your plans for the weekend? Do you bake goodies for your family and friends? One thing I am excited about is that this year I have nice boxes made just for cookies and other treats and I am so grateful to my friend for picking them up. You know my personal shopper friend, as I like to call her. She is amazing. Not just because of that – she is a kind, loving, generous person and we love her.
Okay, I guess I had better get this train back on the tracks. Throw on a Christmas movie, put on the coffee, go to the basement and put on a load of laundry and change the furnace filter (very important to keep that changed) and then have some toast and coffee and then START BAKING. I would like to have some things done before my daughter arrives. I am excited to have company. Only one at a time.
I wish you a wonderful Saturday. Remember to do something nice for someone other than yourself. It is easy to treat yourself but hey so much more rewarding to treat others. You won’t regret it. Be nice. Shovel a walk, bake a pie for your elderly neighbours, bake something and give it away. The vacuuming can wait. Maybe you have neighbours who cannot leave the house and have a dog …. take the dog for a walk? That would be nice.
Happy Saturday ALL.
See you tomorrow.
Living with kindness, respect and compassion for all.
Good Morning ALL. Well it is Thursday morning December 3, 2020. Another gorgeous day on its’ way to us living here in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. This day is forecasted to be +5 degrees celsius. Our normal temperature is -4 for this time of year. We are to have about another week of these temperatures. I will say that when we were out for our noon day walk that Alvin and I wanted to keep on walking – well I did anyway. There were a couple of times that he wanted to turn around and head for home – not quite sure why but I was able to convince him to keep on trucking. The air was so warm and soothing as it touched my face. The sun was shining brightly in the perfect blue sky. I am so grateful for these days. So grateful.
What is on your “plate” for today. Well another workday for me. Tonight I will almost finish my Christmas project which is very exciting for me. Just about there. I also have to double check my recipes and ensure that I know what I am going to bake and that I have the right amount of ingredients. I know that I have more than enough flour and sugar and butter. More than enough. Somehow in the beginning it seemed like a good idea to buy 10 kgs of flour and I think it is the same in sugar and four pounds of butter. The butter might be more close but the flour and sugar will keep. If anyone needs a cup or five of them, I will have some for that. You never know. I did work on the Christmas project last night. I had to use this strong glue so opening the windows and then I placed the project under the fan for the stove (which had it sitting on top of the stove). Yikes. Not a nice smell and not good for one to breathe in – that is why I opened the windows and turned on the fan.
How are you doing these days? Are you okay? I know that this year or almost year has been so off the charts strange for everyone. Strange is putting it lightly of course. People are either working from home, laid off and receiving government relief benefits or out on the front lines working through this pandemic. For the majority of people having to remain at home and away from large groups of family and friends or even travelling has been difficult. Although I will say there are people travelling and that scares the “crap” out of me. What will they bring back with them? Travelling should be ban until this is over unless you are in the military or some health care professionals. Allowing folks to travelling especially out of the country is absolutely ludicrous at this time. How can you ban people from getting together with family at Christmas and allow families to travel outside of Canada. Does not make sense to me? I do agree that we have to buckle down and stop the crazy increase of this virus and if that means wearing a mask and social distancing until who knows when, well this girl is in. What will happen if we do not adhere to the new “rules.” I do not even want to go there.
I am sorry for the dark message so early in the morning but sometimes I just have to get things off my chest.
Okay how about Christmas? Do you have your tree up? I have heard that tree sales are up and that most people already have their trees up and decorated much earlier than normal. I have also heard that flour and sugar and other baking items are beginning to fly off the shelves. So I guess that I am not the only one that is baking. Isn’t it funny that no matter what I am talking about it all comes back to that darn virus. Anyway. I am excited to get some serious Christmas baking done this weekend. Sugar cookies, fudge, chocolate chip cookies, unbaked chocolate macaroons, raisin cookies and who knows what else. Will depend on time and energy and supplies. I even have some delightful boxes to place the baked goods in to deliver to friends and family. So excited. Thanks to my “personal shopper” and you know who you are. I am the most blessed person on the planet. I know this to be for certain.
Well time to head on downstairs. Put on the coffee and get to work.
If we all continue to live our lives with kindness, respect and compassion – what a wonderful world this will be.
My New Life @ 51 